Sunday, September 25, 2011

Prolonging My Final Chapter of Life in the Loony Bin

Welcome to the blog. I trust you're not interested in some thoughtful intro that will outline my mission statement explaining how I plan to conquer the world with my unique and Pulitzer worthy thought process. While my political views of the best Mac and Cheese in town, or the appropriate method of categorizing your socks in a parallel ranking system of panty priorities (sexy panties, period panties, spankies, commando, etc), my intentions here are simply to vent my obnoxious thoughts. I truly believe I am prolonging my inevitable destiny of landing in the Loony Bin through the simple acknowledgement that actually vocalizing my hatred for pickles and ants is a completely different level of crazy compared to just writing it in this shit show we call the Web.

In conclusion, I'd like to thank your bosses who are waiting on that spreadsheet you are procrastinating on to read this blog. If it weren't for them (insert any other relevant obstacle in your life that you'd prefer to avoid: in-laws, term paper, dog defecated in kitchen, wedding party name a few), I can't imagine any other reason one would take the time to not only read, but attempt to comprehend the way I see the world. Bravo to you.